Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
