I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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