If that was your dad, he is hot
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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