she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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