Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
