I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
