A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i came on her dog
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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