Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
