I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
