Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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