Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
