i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
