I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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