You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
