When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
