I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
