you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
