She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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