There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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