Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
