im about as happy as oj after his trial
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
