Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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