remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
