I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize