what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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