I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
