Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
