so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
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didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
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Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Who died my cat blue again?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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