I think i peed on brittanys purse
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
