My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
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Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
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Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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