She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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