Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
