I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
