i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
