You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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