You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
