Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
