So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
