.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
