I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize