Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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