Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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