how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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