he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Who died my cat blue again?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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