that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
