We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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