nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
