i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I cannot find my penis.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
