oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
