we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize