i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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