I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
