Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
