I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Small penises have feelings too.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
