I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
