what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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