I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
