Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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